INFURIATED and MISERABLE

Is it really such a big deal just to want to be held at night, to wake up in the arms of someone we love?
Why can't things always work out for the best, "everything happens for a reason" yeah well you know what, sometimes, the reason sucks.
Nothings the same, i don't have anything to look forward to anymore, i'm just well..walking without a direction.
I feel as though i'm slowly fading away without you. But then i remember..you were never even mine to begin with.
I JUST WANTED TO SCREAM IN YOUR FACE WHEN I SAW YOU WITH HER but i didn't, i just turned and pretended i didn't see you as i walked past with my friends.
Your friends saw the rage on my face, the fury of my steps, the hurt in my eyes.
You were with her the next day, at my work. i hid out the back hoping you wouldn't see me, but hoping you would so much more.
I was at your house the night you broke me into a thousand pieces. You didn't know i was there, i didn't want you too.
I was so full of anger and sorrow. I wanted to cry, but not just tears of hurt. Tears of rage.
I never want to see you again. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

Why do you never start the conversation?

I feel as though i annoy my friends with my problems, so i hide them to myself, i need somewhere to let go of my thoughts and emotions, i need someone i know will listen until i cry my eyes out and feel better with everything going on around me, someone who will be there when i need them but wont be breathing down my neck every second of the day.

Or better yet, i just need you.